Almost…

Well last week, my friend and I made a 3 day run from Kansas City to Lafayette, Louisiana to New Orleans and back.  Went down and found an RV park to park my trailer in.  Met my new boss and toured my new office.  Then the friend and I went to New Orleans had a little bit of fun, then came back to Lafayette and then drove 14 straight hours back home to KC.

Now I am a mere 3 days away from leaving KC for a at least a year if not longer.  My brain is bouncing off the walls.  My stomach is in a constant state of upheaval. I am dreading the drive down.  It’s 12 hours in a car, it’s usually a few more hours tacked on towing the RV.  Plus once I move down there, the hubby has to come back to KC and hopefully, hopefully he’ll be able to move down at the end of November.

I’ve lived in the midwest since 1986 and while I globe hopped before then I haven’t since and I’m a little nervous.  The adventure part is exciting the leaving of family and friends for the unknown is scary!!!  I find myself tearing up at the slightest revelation of things that I’m going to be missing.  For instance, my children while they are adults and have been out of the nest for a while, but we still live in the same city, so I’m having doubts  about leaving them.  I’ve been in my granddaughters lives since they day they were born and the thought of not being able to drop in and give them hugs and kisses and little presents, hurts my heart.  Also my oldest granddaughter has a blood deficiency and while she’s getting plasma treatments Iris the youngest grandbaby would come and hang out with me.

It’s all about the tears right now…  Cramming in every spare moment with goodbyes from family and friends.  In fact tonight going to hang out with my oldest granddaughter.

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When it rains, it pours

I’ve got 2 weeks before I’m picking up my life and moving from Kansas City, Missouri to Lafayette, Louisiana to start my new job.  So I’m trying to sort out what goes, and what’s getting donated and whats getting rid of.  Now is NOT the time for my crown to break off!  But it did, so went to the dentist yesterday to have the remains of the tooth pulled and he wasn’t confident so have to go to an oral surgeon.

Now over the summer, I started my period again.  I had a procedure done several years ago that stopped the menstrual bleeding.  Most women I know would jump in happiness regarding that.  Well my lining has grown back and it’s not good.  So I’ve been pushing for a hysterectomy, but of course with insurance and doctors I had to jump through the hoops.  Well right as that got started then the layoff happened, which means I couldn’t have the surgery because of that.  The last couple of weeks have been pure hell and now that I’m going to a new job, I can’t exactly go on disability for 6 weeks to have the surgery now.  So what do I do? I mean seriously?   I can’t deal with these “lady” problems not at this level anyway, but yet I literally don’t have the time to do it, because now that I have a new job, why not try & get it done before I leave? But how I am supposed to get everything done in the next 2 weeks if I’ve just had surgery?

Plus I’m just scared and excited!  I’m sad to be leaving my friends and even though my kids are grown and out of the house, I’ve never left them before.  I know people everyday live states away from their parents and family, but honestly I’ve never lived away from family that I was close to.

Changes!

Well 2 weeks from today I start my new job! I got a small promotion, although its a paycut, but I still have a job.  Now to clarify that completely confusing statement.  In September we were informed that our office is closing and if we could not find another job within the company we would be out of a job.

The prospects were bleak, because we were not the first round of people to be laid off.  So all of the available jobs had been snatched up.  Never the less, I would continue to look at the management positions they were hiring for and also checking to see if any non management positions had opened up.  On a lark I had put in for Personal Admin job in Louisiana.  It was a long shot but I was like, hey it’ll keep me in a job.  I thought I would be at my same paygrade but I was wrong.  The Director that needed the Admin calls me on Friday, does a quick interview over the phone and promptly offers me the job.  She calls back and states that she can’t keep me at the same salary because the job tops out at less pay.  I called the hubby we held a quick confab via phone and decided I’d take the job.  So I’m moving to Louisiana baby!

We took the 5th wheel to the trailer repair place to handle the axles, and the hubby and I are staying in the truck camper while it’s being repaired.  I am going to make a quick trip down to my new home to find a place to live and then come home and the hubby will drive me and camper down to our new home…

The hubby will try and transfer down with his current company, if he can’t then he’ll come once he’s found a new job.  But right at this moment I’m excited and scared out of my wits!!!

Anxiety

I’m sitting here with severe heart palpitations.  I’ve been needing to write something because my stomach is full of knots and butterflies.  I have been at this job for 21 years and I don’t know what to do.  I have until December 13th, if I can manage to find another job within the company.  The prospects aren’t looking good.  Oh dear Lord, I can’t even write a complete sentence, I’m in a choppy, hormonal mode.

Ok I’ve been what’s called surplussed, I have 90 days to find another job within the company.  If nothing comes up, then I get a severance check and sent on my way.  The hubby keeps trying to keep my spirits up, but since he’s gone 5 days out of 7 there is quite the lag.  Per HR, there are no non management positions available in the metro area.  I’ve been applying for both management and non management titles, but…  nothing so far.  I’ve also been reaching out to other states, I’m willing to relocate but not holding my breath.

I’m also still on the hormones the doctor put me on, despite my request not to.  So I’m hot flashing at least once a day.  I stayed on it, because the doctor assured me that the symptoms would abate, they haven’t.  Also they were supposed to stop my periods, they haven’t.  So I don’t even know where to go from here, regarding that…  I don’t know where to go regarding my job…  And finally the heart palpitations have eased off.  So basically my day consists of me sitting in front of spreadsheet that is staring at me hypocritically, while sweating like a whore in church at my desk, while I’m sitting in the middle of my period.

Last but not least, for some reason my daughter won’t respond to my calls and/or texts.  I do not even know why…  Please someone take me out of my misery.

T.V. Family

I am a little behind the times, I am only now starting to watch the Gilmore Girls.  It’s a good show and I love binge watching on Netflix.  I’ve always appreciated the T.V. Family.  What I mean by that is the teenage pregnancy that has the perfect babies that make it look so easy to have a baby.  The perfect relationships between the mothers and daughters.  The fact that no matter what the issue serious or angry is completely all good in 30 minutes or less.

My daughter and I basically get along because we know what hot buttons to avoid.  But I see the Gilmore Girls and wish that we had that easy go lucky relationship.  I love the shows that aren’t reality these days, but they make me sad.  I would love to have a relationship like on Gilmore Girls.  I’d love to have the manly men of Sons of Anarchy or the hunky doctors off of Grey’s Anatomy.  Also I love the shows regarding the magic you know like Charmed…  Am I dating myself? But I really like the idea of summoning my mother who passed away when I was only 7.

Ok enough of the morbid thoughts.  I am going to enjoy watching Gilmore Girls which I consider my dirty little pleasure.

Laid off

Yep, it’s happening to me.  I’ve been at this company for 21 years.  And last Thursday, my boss and my union rep pulled our small office of 6 people in for a meeting.  At which point my boss read a paragraph off of a piece of paper, stating that in 90 days if we haven’t found a job within the company we would no longer be employed.  By the way, the 90 days is 12/13/17.  So 2 weeks before Christmas I will in all likelihood be unemployed.  Merry Christmas to me!

The cherry on top of this cake is, there are no jobs to open locally.  And honestly I’ve been searching and there aren’t any jobs to relocate to either.  So…  I’ve given 21 years of my life to AT&T and they are laying me off.  I’m 9 years away from retirement and I have to start over.  My hubby is thankfully very supportive and he thinks that everything will be ok.  But he has spent has career following his wants and happiness.  If he didn’t like a company he was working for he would just go and get a new job.  I have walked through fire for this company.  I worked for people that sent me home in tears every night they were so horrible.  I’ve worked through illness and pain, I’ve missed kid milestones all in the name of this company.  And now they are kicking me to the curb like a piece of trash.  This is how I’m being repaid for my 21 years of loyalty.

I sit here watching the cursor blink trying to decide what else I want to say and frankly I’m too down and out.

What a weekend!

It’s been an interesting weekend.  We get up Saturday morning, we are going to go riding on the bike.  We are going to sign up for the Bikers for Babies rally next weekend.  We come out of the house and the bike won’t start.  So we get the tools out and jump start the bike.  Yay! We jump on the bike and ride down to the Indian Dealership and get signed up.  We take off for lunch and then a nice leisurely ride around town.  Next thing I know my hubby is pulling over, I ask him what’s wrong and he says “We’ve got a flat.” We get pulled over and sure enough the bike tire is flat!  Call the insurance and get a tow home.

Now it’s Sunday, we get up and I’m making breakfast.  I notice it’s getting stuffy and warm in the RV, so assuming my hubby has turned up the temperature on the AC I go over to adjust the temp.  But wait, what is this? The temp is already turned down and the AC isn’t running? That’s when I notice that the circuit has been tripped.  So I turned it back on and it’s making the same horrible noise the one upstairs made right as it was breaking.  So I turned it off real quick and the hubby went on the roof and sure enough the living room AC is broken!!!

Later that afternoon our landlord comes by, he’s going to be doing some road repair work and we will need to move our truck.  So the hubby goes out to move it and lo and behold it won’t start.  Now because it’s a one ton truck, it has 2 batteries.  Both dead as door nails.  So we try and hook up one battery, won’t start.  We hook up the 2nd battery and nope, won’t start.  Finally had to go and get the landlord.  Hooked up both batteries and finally got it started.  Let the truck run while we went to the movies and had dinner.  Finally managed to get through the weekend.

Why?

Ok I know this a hot bed of opinion and I’m not trying to start a crap storm, but I have a question.  Why? In this age of political correctness, why?

When my daughter was a teenager, she had a gaggle of girlfriends.  For the most part I liked them.  There were a few I wouldn’t have mind slapping, but for the most part they were a good bunch.  There is one in particular who is still around and there have been some very drastic changes.  After high school, her friend came out of the closet.  Did I or any of her other friends have a problem with this? Nope, not a one.  This was not dramatic to us, as long as our friend is happy we are happy.  Then this past year, she posted on Facebook, that she was not happy as a girl and started her transformation to a boy.  Again myself nor my daughter have a problem with this.  Apparently there were some people in her life that did have a problem and said things to her.  She didn’t elaborate but made a request via FB.  Her request was to acknowledge her becoming a man, to call her and make reference to going forward as a he.  Again I don’t have a problem with any of this.  Now it’s post after post about being transgender.  My question is this, why?  If you want to be seen as a man, why do you go around belting out that your transgender? Because shortly after all this a post was made that if you don’t reference me as a man, then get out of my life.  Which is fine, but then why go around posting and talking about being transgender? If you want to be seen as a man, why would you remind everyone that you were a woman?

First of all isn’t this private? Don’t we have anything that’s private? Like I need to know what’s going on in your pants? Your bedrooms?   Frankly I don’t even want or need to know what you’re having for dinner, but I can handle that.  I really don’t need to know what’s going in your “private” life.  It just confuses me that if you want me to know you as a man, why would you tell me that you used to be a woman? Why wouldn’t you introduce yourself as a man and leave it at that?  I mean honestly if I don’t want to be judged about something, guess what I don’t say anything about it.

I’m sure this a naive and some would say bigoted opinion.  And truly it’s not, I’m just curious.

Stuck!

Ok, who here has gotten a song stuck in their head and they can’t get it out???  Me that’s who!!! I have on a loop in my head “this is Major Tom from ground control” I can hear the singers voice and everything.

I literally just sang it out loud without even thinking about it in the office bathroom.  (insert laughter here) Yes I was the weirdo in the bathroom stall, singing out loud in a room, with great acoustics, entertaining others while they pee.

I mean it’s the Friday before a 3 day weekend, thank goodness!  So I’m sorry to say that attendance to my concert was low.  I’m going to blame it on the promoter.  Isn’t that how that goes?  Hopefully I’ll be able to move on with life without this becoming the song that they will play at my funeral.  I mean I like the song and all but for crying out loud!

This is why I torture my husband with the song “Escape”…  Anyone who is not a millennial, will understand the reference to “do you like pina coladas?” Ok who didn’t sing that as they read it?

Ok to avoid complaining or turning into a Hallmark card wishing everyone a Happy Labor Day weekend, I think I’m going to sign off now.

 

Breakout!

Help, I’m in a rut and I can’t get out.  I mean we live in the Midwest not exactly a mecca for culture.  Our activities are dictated by the weather, our level of exhaustion etc.  I mean seriously we live it up in the summer, we boat and we ride the motorcycle.  During the winter, we usually stay close to home and possibly go to the movies.  That’s what I mean about a rut, we do 2 things during the summer and a few things during the winter. Usually the same thing I did last season.

Oh my, I’ve taken my night meds and they are kicking my butt, I want to finish this post but I don’t think it’s going to happen my eyes are closing as we speak…