I’ve had a day & it’s only lunch

Ok boys and girls it’s a Tuesday.  Nothing exciting about this right? It’s not a Monday, so not the beginning of a week, which we all view as horrible.  It’s not Friday so there is not that little spark of anticipation that happens when you know it’s the end of the week.  Nope, it’s only Tuesday so you’d think the events of today would be as boring as the day of the week that it happened on.

I managed to get up and get ready with little happening, so I anticipated it to be a nice, quiet day.  Oh how wrong I was.

It started off with a call to On-Star on behalf of my 84 year old Grandmother.  She recently purchased a new to her car.  Her old one having died an ungracious death.  She bought a 2011 Cadillac CTS because she refuses to drive anything other than a Cadillac.  Said Cadillac comes with 90 days of unlimited On-Star services, so I sit down in the car to activate service for her.  30 minutes later, service has NOT been activated, so I assure her I will call the toll free number to remedy the situation.  I get on the phone and proceed to tell the operator I need to speak with someone about activating the account.  After being transferred around and put on hold for no less than 15 minutes I get a lady who proceeds to read the instructions to me that I’ve been following for 30 minutes with out success.  I nastily let her know that repeating the same steps for at least 30 minutes did not end in activation like she assures me that it would.  Her only trouble shooting tip was to drive the car around for a mile or so and try again.  Gee thanks, next time I’m at my Grandmother’s I’ll try that…  So I give up on that for the moment.  I then ask to be transferred back to customer service because I need to ask about the basic pricing on the various plans that are offered.  She can’t find my grandmother’s account so she is unable to transfer me.  I’m flabbergasted at this point, I mean seriously? They have my grandmother’s information I’m literally staring at the card your company sent with her name and type of car she’s purchased.  But yet you can’t transfer me to answer basic questions? I literally scream at her “You don’t want my money?” She proceeds to give me the pricing information I’m looking for and I hang up assuring her I’ll drive around before hitting the On-Star button again.

So than I start some tedious paperwork, as I’m sitting at my desk processing the mind numbing paperwork I have to do, my lower abdominal region starts to gurgle…  A little painful signal that I need to make my way to the restroom.  But I only have like 2 maybe 3 more pages and my task will be complete.  I’m thinking it’ll be ok, I can hold it till then…  My body starts clenching together as the pain becomes more intense.  I’m thinking now hmmm it’s only a little gas I can let a little eek out, I turn on my fan so no one in my vicinity has to suffer and I trust that rumbling just needs a pressure release a.k.a a fart and I’ll be good to complete my task.  Then I can rush to the restroom and take care of business.  Oh, how I wrong I was.  I didn’t have a disaster of epic proportions but still I should NOT have trusted what I thought was a fart.

This portion of the morning is a two parter.  I completed my task (thank goodness) then I rushed to the restroom where I discovered my first mistake.  I will spare you the details because frankly I’m not that cruel to the populace at large.  But I will interject as I was I standing up in the stall, pulling up my pants, I hear a click and watch with horror as my ID badge for work sails through the air and lands with a plop into the toilet that had not been flushed yet.  Again I will spare you the gory details but my badge was rescued and washed in the sink.

Now most of you would think that would be the highlight of the day.  But wait there’s more!  Last night I had dinner with friends at Olive Garden, so I brought home left overs of lasagna and bread sticks.  Which I in turn brought in for lunch.  See I’m being budget and food conscious.  I’m rather proud (wink, wink).  Along with our public microwave in our office we also have a toaster oven, which I thought since they provide a bag to heat up your breadsticks would be an awesome combo.  Again how wrong I was.  I heat up my lasagna and my breadsticks are heating up as well.  I hear the ding of the toaster oven so I head that way.  I open the door and see the bag containing my yeasty goodness is all brown and in fact a whole section is black!!!  Then the burnt smell hits me, apparently the bag had been touching the heating coils and were just a few seconds away from catching on fire!!! So now my breaksticks are icky and there is a horrendous burnt smell wafting through the office (sigh).  At first I think phew nothing else could possibly happen today, then I realize it’s only lunch time…  So please pray for me, that I make it though the rest of today without incident.


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