Ugh!

I hate when I write a great blog and I have technical difficulties and my entry goes poof!

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Productive!

Yes! The day isn’t quite over, but for the most part it’s over and I’m very happy! I started my day with going to my doctor appt on my foot. I got to return my kneeling scooter, I am now officially back on my feet! I know that seems silly, but anyone that has worn a walking boot and had to use a kneeling scooter understands my pain. So basically a super happy dance.

Then I picked up groceries and picked up my mail. I then came home, got all groceries put away then went upstairs and got down to the nitty gritty getting my work done. I also managed to make some calls regarding my husbands medical stuff, plus knocked out paying some bills. I mean like wow! I haven’t felt this good in a long time about getting stuff done.

Plus I got quite a bit of work done, which I also feel real good about too. Plus this weekend, I got 2 baby blankets completed, I completed one crochet project and got some more done on 2 other outstanding projects. I mean wow! I’m so happy, I guess because I’ve felt over whelmed and under productive lately. Despite the fact I’m in pain right now I’m so happy. Oh and I got the budget complete for the month, again wow!

It’s funny how it takes something as simple as checking items off of to do list to make me happy. Also when I complete projects that I’m making for others it makes me super happy. I love making things for the people in my life. It especially makes me happy when they enjoy using the items I make for them.

Movie Review

Well I got the hubby out of the house tonight. We went and saw Antman and the Wasp. I’m a huge fan of comic book movies. I really love it when the sequel contains all the original actors from the first movie. As for the movie itself, I really liked it. The story moved quickly, it didn’t lag which most comic book movies do when they are trying to set up the story.

You will also get a quite a few laughs out of the story. Paul Rudd does a great job in this movie. I also thought they did a great job of making Michele Pheifer and Michael Douglas look young during the flash back portion of the movie. So overall I would recommend you to see the movie, I don’t want to go to much into the movie because I don’t want to issue any spoiler alerts…

Wow this entry was a lot better when it was floating around in my brain. It’s 2 a.m. when I’m writing this, but I’m awake so? I don’t know why this review came out so bad.

I guess it’s time for me to go to bed and maybe my next entry will be better.

Weird…

You know the saying about feeling alone in a crowded room? I don’t remember the exact saying, but suffice it say I’m in a similar situation. For the past 4 years I haven’t seen my husband for more than 4 months out of the year. I would see him on the weekends only and 2 weeks of vacation. That’s it, I did the math one day.

I used to tease him about being a “Reserves” husband. You know the National Guard commercial about 1 weekend a month and 2 weekends a year? Well as little as I actually saw him I used to tease him about being like that. I mean he was gone so long and so often that when he would come home, he was uncomfortable in our bed because he wasn’t used to sleeping in it.

Now the current situation is this, my husband has been home for the last month healing from his spinal surgery. We’ve been together for the last 30 days. 24/7. On the one hand I’m over the moon because it’s been over 4 years and I’ve spent more time with him in the last 30 days then I have in 6 months of the previous years. I mean I love the man and I’m getting to actually be married with him. On the other side, the weird side is this. He had spinal surgery, his neck was what was operated on, the procedure they did on him is called a “spinal fusion”. Because of the surgery it’s very important for hubby to keep his neck in a certain position. He has a soft neck brace to wear around the house and a rigid brace to wear in the car. So for the last 30 days he’s been sleeping in the recliner. I’m sitting here in the bed writing this, hubby is downstairs watching TV in the recliner. He’s also gotten his days and nights mixed up. He stays up all night watching TV and then he sleeps all day, which that part is ok because while I’m sitting on the bed working he’s snoring peacefully away downstairs.

Yes I’m getting to the weird part. The weird part is this… I miss him! I miss snuggling with him in the bed, I miss hugging and kissing him. I mean I lean over the recliner and give him a smooch but because he can’t move right now, it’s the everyday smooch in passing. I’m still alone in the bed and since there is no “adult time” going on you can imagine how antsy that’s making me as well.

So again I circle back to, I’ve gotten to spend more time with my hubby in the last 30 days, but I feel lonelier than when he was gone. Weird…

Don’t get it…

Have you ever noticed that the bad choices, embarrassing moments, hurtful words they seem to stick? I mean seriously, my hubby has said plenty of nice things, but he’s also human and he’s said mean and hurtful things. Why can’t the nice things swim around my head? You know why can’t those things pop up unexpectedly and give me warm and fuzzy feelings?

But no, that doesn’t happen or at least to me. I’m watching TV and a mean a hurtful words will pop in my brain making me feel bad. Or as I’m driving along a stupid decision that I’ve made will rerun through my head making me feel stupid all over again. I mean seriously? Why doesn’t the good times, good decisions, happy times ever pop up and I smile and feel good? Am I alone in this?

I try to be a positive person, in fact it irritates me when people go on and on about bad stuff… Well I guess I will try and have a good day, hope everyone does and hope your thoughts are at least nice, I’m not even shooting for happy keeping the bar low.

It’s been a minute.

Well I haven’t posted recently, so I thought I’d say a word or 2 today. It’s a slow work day, so figured I’d chat.

It’s been a painful weekend. Hubby was hurting this weekend and so was I. He slept in the bed with me for a few hours this weekend, which I enjoyed. But when he got out of bed, his neck hurt and his chest hurt… I wish he would feel better soon so he could at least come back to bed instead of sleeping in the recliner.

My foot still hurts, the boot is causing my knee and hip to hurt too. In order for my foot to heal I have to not walk on it, but when I sit for a couple of hours, my back and hip start hurting real bad (sigh) so there is no way to win here.

I’m working from home today which is a good thing. Because it’s a slow day, it’s allowing me to get stuff done… I made a to do list this weekend and I’ve been able to cross quite a few things off of it, which makes me feel good. But one of the few things I need to do is make my Christmas to do list. I do so enjoy making gifts for my family. I hope they feel the love as much as I do making their gifts.

My friend called this morning, they are on their way home from their road trip and they might be able to stop by and have dinner on their way home. It’s nice, the one upside to living down here is I get to see my friend way more than I ever have. At least since we were 17.

Well I guess I’ve rambled on long enough, hopefully next time I’ll have something to discuss/report. Pray for the hubby that he gets better.

And so it is…

Well it’s Sunday night. I’m all clean, lotioned and medicated. My poor hubby is medicated and sleeping noisily in his recliner. He’s got his neck brace on, he’s in pain and he’s doing pretty well considering. My ex was a huge ass after his surgeries and it was pain to take care of him. Hubby is pretty good, this is his first surgery ever… He’s only been a little cranky, but hasn’t crossed over into asshole territory.

I took off the day of his surgery and the 2 days he was in the hospital. While before the surgery hubby was stating that he didn’t need anyone. He just wanted to be dropped off at the hospital and that he wouldn’t need me until it was time for him to go home. I completely ignored this of course. But the first night after his surgery, I did leave after a few hours, I thought I would sleep at home, but no sooner than I get home and get comfortable, my phone rings and my hubby is calling. He is asking if I would come up to the hospital and watch a movie with him. So I got dressed and headed back out. Poor hubby was totally relieved when I walked back in, he decided he was hungry so I ran back out to the store & also swung by the house to get my meds because the hubby wanted me to stay the night at the hospital.

I know to the average person my hubby expressing his desire for me to stay at the hospital with him is nothing special. But if you knew him you would understand how out of character that was for him. It made me feel so warm and fuzzy.

Well we are home from the hospital, thank goodness. The funny part to all of this is, is everyone thought I was the patient. Let me explain, a few weeks ago I tripped and fell and tore my Achilles’ tendon. Since I’m stuck in a boot and can’t walk on my foot, I have a kneeling scooter. So as we went to the doctor’s office and then the hospital everyone was looking at me on my scooter and thought I was the patient.

Well tomorrow is Monday, the start of another work week. I have to work and that’s also up in the air these days. We’ve been scooted around the last few months and now my supervisor is “changing” kind of… It’s not official or is it? My boss is now in Atlanta and I’m not sure how this is going to work out? So now I’m going to have to drum up work I guess to keep myself relevant and make sure that I keep my job. So hubby is going out on disability, which is dropping his salary to only 60% and I’m so ambivalent about everything right now.

Here we go!

Well today we got up early and I took my husband to his appointment with his surgeon. Apparently his spinal column is compressing his spinal cord. We found this out last Thursday, and 6 days later he’ll be under the knife. Yes you read that correctly, his spinal cord is in imminent danger! It’s being compressed so severely that if he doesn’t have the surgery he could possibly be paralyzed from the neck down.

Please keep in mind that my hubby is 50 years old. He has never had a surgery in his entire life. He has no idea! He’s handling it well on the outside… He won’t admit to anything if he’s nervous or anxious or anything but I’m a nervous wreck.

As I’m sitting here writing this, it’s to the sound of thunder outside. There is a pretty big storm hitting us right now. Which hopefully will cool us down, because of course our AC has broken again. Not a good thing in south Louisiana at the beginning of summer.

Well I’ve helped my husband start his disability with work, he’ll be off work for 90 days at the least. Well I can’t seem to keep my thoughts together, so I’ll let you guys know after surgery… Please keep the hubby in your thoughts.

Lots of stuff…

I haven’t written in a while, no particular reason… Just have been busy and when I’m not busy I’ve been incredibly lazy, I guess. Also some things have been going on lately too. I don’t know if I told ya’ll but I tripped a couple of months ago and when I did I tore my Achilles’ tendon in my left foot.

Now the main thing to heal this type of injury is to not walk on the foot. That’s harder than it sounds, believe me. The doctor gave me a kneeling scooter to help the not walking on my foot. It’s harder than it looks. Especially since my knees are bad so it’s not a joy. Also the wheels on that scooter catch everything on the ground and if you are not paying attention you will get thrown off the scooter.

So needless to say I haven’t been using the scooter like I should’ve. It doesn’t help that my boss completely ignores the fact that I shouldn’t be walking. I don’t think she does it out of meanness, I think she’s just self centered, she talks about herself a LOT! So when I went back in for the follow up with my doctor because I didn’t use the scooter to come in his office he chewed me out. So for the past week I’ve been doing my best to not walk on my foot. It’s been hard to say the least and it’s driving me out of my flipping mind!!!

My house is becoming a pig sty which is bothering me immensely in fact I’m getting ready to throw caution to the wind and clean today. I’ve made a to do list & everything!!! I’m just hoping the hubby doesn’t pay too close attention and yell at me. He’s doing his best to help but he’s tired too and cleaning isn’t high on his list of priorities.

Next on my list of stuff, huge amount of worry for the hubby. He was feeling weird the other night, it’s hard to explain. So he went to the ER and believe me when I say this my husband going to any doctor is cause for worry. He simply doesn’t go. So he goes to the hospital, they run some tests, they admit him for the night.

Ok gotta run, will continue at a later date…

Meltdown…

Ok folks here is the dorkiest event that I’ve ever participated in… I was getting my things together to go to Houston for the weekend to help my friend sew a quilt for her son. I was also going to bring a crochet project to work on during the down time of the weekend. I have a little plastic box that my husband gave me. It’s full of small compartments and I’ve used it to store my crochet hooks, stitch markers, scissors, doll eyes and needles.

I usually keep it with my current projects, but here lately I’ve left current projects in various spots in the camper. For example I have my hubby’s afghan next to my recliner, my daughters cardigan on my dresser & a donation hat at work… So I haven’t been toting my crochet box around. But I figured that with this new project I’m gonna start at Jen’s I would need my box, but alas I couldn’t find it!!!

I live in my RV so we are talking about approximately 400 square feet. Normally I love it! But tonight I was in a total panic, I couldn’t find my crochet box!! I looked in the 2 likely places it would be in the camper and NOTHING! Of course hubby is out of town, so I have to wonder did he put the box away? I called and he of course has fallen asleep and doesn’t answer the phone. So I’m in tears and walking back and forth in my camper and that’s a very bad thing because I’ve torn my tendon and the last thing I need to be doing is walking on it! So I call my friend in Houston & I’m almost in tears and I’m asking her if I’ve possibly left this box at her house. Lo and behold she says does it have white thread and other stuff in it? I’m so relieved! I mean seriously, my box has been found. Thank goodness. I’m so relieved and I’m literally wiping tears off of my cheeks and realize how stupid it is to have been that upset about a crochet box.

So again I state I’ve just participated in a very dorky event.